The Most Important Day of My Life

I am exhausted, worn, excited and hungry and I have never felt happier than I do now. Today my son was born. Henry Karl Wenke was delivered to Chandra and I at 12:55pm at Wesley Hospital in Wichita. He is 8lbs and 3oz and was 19.5 inches long when he was born. He is absolutely perfect and makes me smile everytime I see him. He has a full head of dark hair and looks like both of us in a perfectly shared way. Today, I am a perfectly happy man. Today, I am a father.

First Baby Pics

Things are definitely moving fast, so I'm just stepping in for a quick update. Last Friday Chandra and I had our first sonogram of the baby at 18 weeks. I never understood why people were always so excited about grainy, cryptic pictures, but now I get it. I still get a smile every time I look at them. I can honestly say they represent one of the most exciting things I have ever seen. Click the link and have a smile with me as there are some funny ones in there. If you want to keep it a mystery, stay away from the last 2.

From Baby Wenke

My Summer of Shifting Priorities

Hello again everyone. Since I have been out of the public radar quite a bit for the last few months, I thought I would give everyone my "What I Did Last Summer" report. I can tell you that its was an eventful summer, so please pay attention to all the details. True to my form, I'll try to keep it painfully long and full of obscure metaphors.

The summer started with a let down when I found out that I had failed my "Art" class in college. It turns out that you really have to do homework to get a passing grade in college, regardless of how relevant and informative (or worthless and trivial in this case) the class may be to my business degree. Yes, it was all my fault. No, I won't apologize for calling it a worthless class. Lucky for me I was able to find an online class over the summer session that filled my art requirement and was quick and mostly painless. This time I did my homework like a good school boy and got a good grade. For now I, am taking this semester off, but more on that later.

The next big thing was with work. Our outsourcing group was looking for a person to manage one of our vendors on a one-on-one basis for a year or two. The kicker was that this vendor is a little bit outside of town... As in southern Brazil part of out of town. I jumped at the offer when they first mentioned it, back in mid May and proceeded to go through interviews with all the different managers attached to this program. Everyone kept telling me that they were going to move on this fast so I was a bit frustrated when I had to go through five interviews at about 2 week intervals. Fast in business terms is evidently around two months, but I did get to chat with the vice president of supply chain. So after my extended meet and greet with the entire company, they offered me the position and I naturally accepted. The very next day, the company states they are taking a new strategy with this vendor and they no longer need me to go down there. It's always nice to see multi-billion dollar company focused and synchronized on a goal, but in the end it worked out for the best. Once the word got out that I wasn't headed to paradise I got an offer for a team lead spot back in production (where I enjoy working the most) and a temporary assignment in our experimental shop (where I can show off my skill to everyone).

And so we come to my biggest priority and most recent reason to know how to spell serendipity. Around the same time as the Brazil deal was kicking off, I met a sweet little girl named Chandra. We began to spend a lot of time together which turned into a lot more time together. A couple of months ago we found out that she was pregnant and so now I'm going to be a father. Lucky for me she's been through this before because the whole idea is still a bit scary for me. It's very exciting, but at the same time sobering. All of my priorities are now shifting to my responsibilities as a father. I'm nervous of my abilities but confident that things will work out for the best. I'm scared of the huge responsibility of raising a child but I'm ecstatic of all the fun and happiness this child will bring to our lives. Since you've made it this far I'll assume that you really are interested in my dealings and hope that you will also support and share in our happiness.

Things will be changing quickly. I hope to be moving into a new house by the end of the year, finishing the last 2 classes for my associates degree before the spring semester, and the baby is due February 18th. As always, this adventure called life is getting more and more interesting as we go along the path. Thanks for sharing the road with me.

With respect and love.
Wenke.

When UPS Attacks

I ordered a new surround sound system last week when I found a good deal on a ONKYO receiver and a full set of speakers. It would have been really cool to have hooked up to my DVD player and my Home Theater Computer and be really loud and obnoxious in all my geek tech glory. I bought it from a long time online retailer that millions have shopped from before and had to pay about $50 for shipping via the ever-present UPS. The boy in brown showed up today to drop off my purchase, and came to the door with just his little computer and said to go ahead and sign to accept the package. Remembering what my mama said, I waited to sign the little machine until he brought the package up to me. When he brought it up to the porch, this is what I was treated too (click on the pictures to see the full set).




So I did the safe thing and refused delivery. Besides being hi-tech electronics, and obviously dropped something fierce, there was a very good chance that some of the pieces could have fallen out or been stolen. Refusing delivery makes UPS and Crutchfield fight it out, while Crutchfield just sends me a new box and I (hopefully) have no worries while having to wait a bit longer.

Now the thought on my mind is this: The UPS guy knew that this box was beat the fuck up. He also know what my options were in this situation. So why did he ask me to sign for it before he brought it up to the porch?

Was the guy just a dick and wanted to stick me with a busted stereo, maybe yell "Gotcha!" as he dropped it off and run away. Is there some kind of corporate policy out to screw over the customer by sticking people with broken things so they have to go through all the red tape on the off chance that most will just give up and accept the bad fortune? Who knows, maybe the guy just had a long day and didn't want to have to lug a 90 pound box from truck to door then back again. Whatever the situation, none were my responsibility and I was not about to make it mine. Moral of the story? Watch your six people. There are a lot of ways for retailers, shippers, middlemen and others to take advantage of your dollar if you let them. Don't be no sucka baby.

2 Weeks and Some Change.

It's been 18 days since I quit smoking. I will admit I did have one cigarette last Friday after the bar, however it was a Super-Ultra-Mega-Uber-Light so it was more of a disappointment than a reprieve. They say 21 days make a habit, so give it a week. However I'm pretty sure the hunger will still be there. Last time I quit for almost 2 years and I still wanted to smoke the whole time. However I have kept up at the gym for about 6 weeks now, almost 3 weeks of clean breathing... I'm contemplating kicking the caffeine habit next. Chocolate has been my replacement vice for the last week or so and it's not doing me any good. It might even be worse for me than the smoking was.

So exercise, no nicotine and no caffeine. I am going to be a complete and total asshole. You have been warned.

I will use these reasons as an excuse for my insomnia as well, so you can't get mad when I fall asleep while you are talking. I really was paying attention to whatever it was you just said. The up side of all of this frustration is that it keeps my hands busy. No, not like that. Ass. Saturday I did my rain dance by waxing the hell out of my car, Sadie. She looked so good I took some new pics of her. You can check them out in my photo albums. I love the way a girl looks after a good wax job. Yes, like that. I'm the ass ;)

You know... Everyone likes a Brazilian...

2007 Easter Pub Crawl - The Ultimate Sacrifice

It looks like we finally got all of the pics from the Ultimate Sacrifice Pub Crawl collected and in the public domain. The Padre was out in full effect once again. Click on the pic below to check em out.

Ultimate Sacrifice Pub Crawl

Day 3

Medically speaking, three days after a person stops smoking, all nicotine has left their system. Any discomfort or feelings a person has for cigarettes at this time are purely a result of the brain adjusting to the lowered levels of nicotine. Nicotine is chemically similar and mimics the actions of acetylcholine, a neurochemical that attaches to the brain's receptors and produces dopamine which affects a person's sense of pleasure and satisfaction. Dopamine is the same neurotransmitter that is involved in addictions to other drugs such as cocaine and heroin. After 16 years of smoking, my brain has been trained to receive a boost of this chemical cocktail about every 2 hours. Think about the hungriest you have ever been, then move that pain to the middle of your brain. Then make it worse, steadily over the next 7 days...

The good side...
These neurochemicals are produced in our own brains. The perceptions and emotions we focus on are reinforced by more of these same chemicals. Focus your perceptions on peace and contentment, you will have a damn good chance of feeling peaceful and content. That's what eastern medicine has used meditation for for thousands of years. I will use my mind to rid myself of this discomfort that is caused by my mind... Yeah, there is no spoon.

Shitty thing is, I have always used cigarettes to calm myself so I can meditate. Fuckers.

I Quit

I have been smoking for a long time. I started smoking cigars when I was 16, and after I learned that they aren't the best thing before school, I switched to smoking Marlboro Red's. Full Flavor, Cowboy Killer's, Coffin Nails... yeah, they are all the same thing. Except for a brief stint during boot camp and briefly while I was married, I have been smoking pretty much ever since then. I have smoked a lot, at one time I was smoking a pack and 1/2 a day. Everyday. I have cut down considerably since then and except for when I am at the bar, I usually smoke about 5 or 6 cigarettes a day. This Saturday night I was out at a friend's house for a pig roast and I finished my last pack of cigarettes. I'm giving them up.

I never needed to smoke, I just like to smoke. But it does have a negative effect on me. And the positives of smoking don't seem to offset the negatives nearly as much as they used too. One of my favorite things is that I would get a few minutes to get up from the desk and go somewhere else for a little break. But there are other things I can do to get those little breaks, maybe I'll go run up and down the stairs or maybe walk around the building if its nice out. We shall see... I'm going to miss my little distraction. So please be a little understanding if I'm more inclined to bite now. I never mean for it to be personal ;)

This Is Why I'm King of the Geeks

I love Wired News. It really addresses the issues I'm concerned with. They had a fun article on the nature of what it is to be a geek and it covered a topic that isn't always considered when most people talk about geeks. I also think that this explains why being a geek has turned me into a metro-sexual. The full article is here and be forewarned, not all of the links contained are safe for work. So be careful if you are in a controlled environment. Enjoy :)
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The 10 Real Reasons Why Geeks Make Better Lovers

04.06.07 | 2:00 AM

Editor's note: Some links in this story lead to adult material and are not suitable for viewing at work. All links of this nature will be noted with "NSFW" after them.

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I've read recently that geeks make better lovers because they are so unaccustomed to romance that they will do anything for their mates. Also because geeks don't have the social skills to cheat (wanna bet?).

Yeah, ha ha, let's chuckle at the stereotypes. Might as well add that geeks won't waste valuable relationship time watching football. Or that geeks are clueless and fashion-impaired and have the social skills of a bowl of fruit.

But you know what? Humorous Top-10 lists aside, geeks really do make the best lovers, for reasons that have nothing to do with adolescent ostracism or puppy-like devotion.

It's all about sex-tech. (Tell us what you think below.)

Geeks build it so you will come

Second Life's SexGen animation system, Red Light Center's (NSFW) beautiful sex animations and open-source teledildonics did not simply coalesce out of the mists during a marketing department meeting.

These projects require strong technical know-how along with an open-minded approach to sexual variation. After all, you can't build sex-tech that serves only your own preferences if you expect others to use it. Especially if you want them to buy it.

That geeks have the passion to commit their technical skills to expanding sexual options for everyone is evidence enough of their enthusiasm and dedication as lovers.

Geeks get personal with tech

All engineers may be geeks, but not all geeks are engineers. Doesn't matter. You don't need to know how to build a platform in order to do a half-gainer in full pike with a twist into the river of love.

A geek is more likely to figure out how to customize toys and to design arousing environments for your avatars to play in than a non-geek. And that experience translates into a greater sensitivity to atmosphere and mood during sex -- beyond lighting a candle.

Don't be surprised if your geek lover puts more thought into arranging the boudoir than you do, or if common household items ("pervertibles") soon take on a new dimension. More than one geek has told me that Home Depot is their favorite adult store.

Geeks dig consensual role playing

Geek lovers combine a well-developed and oft-exercised erotic imagination with their physical technique. It isn't a big leap from "I'm a level-13 thief, evil-aligned" to "I'm the prison warden and you're the new detainee." Scientists and therapists alike claim that the brain is the most critical sexual organ; a geek's familiarity with fantasy arouses your mind even as the handcuffs -- or the bag of loot -- bring your body to attention.

Geeks interact

A technophobe mostly talks to you in person, but a geek is happy to be with you by texting your phone, flirting with you in a chat room, Skyping you, Twittering just in case you're on your vibrating couch (NSFW), sending funny cell-phone snapshots to your e-mail, playing online games, commenting on your blog, Digging articles that interest you, seducing you by instant message….

Geeks get things done

Geeks know all the shortcuts. They research your interests, send you surprise gifts, plan your perfect vacation, get the bills and grocery shopping out of the way, write to their mothers, and tease you mercilessly, all while pretending to work. And when you ask them to set up your home Wi-Fi or install a home theater, it's done quickly, expertly and without complaint.

In other words, geeks know how to get everything else out of the way so there's more time for lovemaking.

Geeks are hot …

… and wear the coolest glasses.

Geeks don't shock easily

Geeks have seen all the porn you can imagine and then some, priming them to be open to your sexual peccadilloes. They are not only less likely to be shocked by your exotic requests -- they might not even realize that other people think your turn-ons are exotic.

Conversely, your geek lover might be relieved that your wildest fantasy involves only two other people, five utensils and a trapeze.

Geeks know kinky people

Geeks haven't just seen a variety of positions, kinks and fetishes in blue movies. They know (or are) people who enjoy those things, so they don't dismiss entire categories of sexual interests as the sole province of a bunch of weirdos in San Francisco.

It's hard to sustain prejudice and bias against an abstract group when you develop relationships with individuals and discover they're just like you. It doesn't matter if they dress up like ponies, or refuse to conform to a societal idea of gender norms, or eat pancakes for dinner. Geek lovers know better than to try to impose their sexual preferences or standards on others -- including your friends -- and are more likely to love and let love.

Geeks understand multi-dimensional relationships

Geeks connect with their online buddies in several guises, often getting to know the person behind the avatar as friendships deepen and move from adult communities to personal IM.

A geek can flow seamlessly between conversation about a friend's partner and kids in one window and an elaborate group sex scene in another, without feeling any discontinuity between the personas. Even if the friend is a 43-year-old father of two in IM, and a 22-year-old dominatrix in the group.

With all that going on, a geek has no problem accepting that sometimes you want mocha ripple cherry fudge chunk swirl with almonds and a waffle and sometimes you want vanilla lite.

Geeks aren't threatened by new tech or "the future of sex"

Geeks have read the science fiction. They know the dire predictions of a world in which the sticky press of flesh is replaced by neural nets and sex robots that also do housework (or is that house robots that also do sex work?).

Geeks have imagined more sexual dystopias than the average person and are the first to see the technological developments that could lead us down dark paths. Which only makes sense, considering who develops those technologies in the first place.

At the same time, geeks know better than anyone that something always goes wrong when you lean on machines for your social fulfillment. A geek doesn't mind if you bring home the iiErotoTrix 5000 v3 -- as long as you share it.

Literacy and the printing press did not replace sex; neither did photography, automobiles, video, online porn or 3-D escort services. Geek lovers spend enough time with technology to appreciate the unique wondrousness of human touch.

See you next Friday, Regina Lynn

How to Not Get Elected. Part Whatever...

As most have seen, I failed to win the primary so my first attempt at politics has come to a close. Thanks to everyone for all the help and support that you provided during this fun and exciting time. Unfortunately, the voter turnout was dismal and that was the worst thing for my campaign. From the preliminary numbers it only looks like about 15% of the district voted and the incumbent won with only 2800 votes. It was a lot of work, a lot of fun, and one of the best learning experiences I have had in quite some time. A few of the most important things I learned are:

1. Apathy is a community's worst enemy
2. My ideas alone are not enough to change the world
3. The established controlling powers favor the privileged
4. People as a whole are more concerned about themselves than their community
and most importantly... 5. Getting out in the community and talking to everyone, from all different backgrounds, has been one of the most exciting and fun things I have ever done.

So, who knows what the future holds. But for now I want to take some time to be selfish and focus on myself. There are lots of fun projects I have in mind... and a few wicked strategies too